The Things I Should Have Said

For everything I keep inside my head. And some of the things I don't.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

An Open Mind

It was a beautiful tableau.
Each of them with their mirrors reflecting the lights onto our faces.

It was a beautiful message too.

Hope in the form of words and ourselves through the darkness. Light in the darkness.

Goosebumps. There were a lot of goosebumps while I was watching.

There are, in this world so shrouded in dark thoughts and hopelessness, some moments of pure clarity, beauty, truth. Moments often ignored as they are often small, simple acts. Or overlooked as the ones meant to be viewing are too concerned with matters more important to them that are, in the scheme of things, not important at all.

I catch them sometimes.

It's those moments that make it seem like there is a chance that we can pull this world out of the deep hole we've dug it into.

The good is not just the exception. Does not have to be just the exception. People aren't all bad.
Notice the moments of innocence. Or honesty. Of love. Of hope.
A child's smile. The crossed fingers subtle after a big pitch. The eyes on a man without money who you've provided dinner for. A reunion of lovers and friends. The peace and resolution after a conflict. The feel of sunshine, the smell of a flower. Holding the hand of someone you love. The surprise visits and unexpected phone calls. The feeling promises kept, feelings returned, a job well done, a hug after a long day.


I have hope.
Someday.
Maybe. The exception can become the rule.

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Sunday, January 13, 2008

World Outside Yourself

I really think if more people connected with the humans around them, the world would be a better place.
It's interesting how someone can preach how they love meeting new people, but when presented with strangers, uncomfortable situations, or imperfect circumstances- they shut down.
I spent this morning at a park with the intention of feeding the homeless. I was late, as always, and didn't get to help out as much as I had hoped. It was all worth it though to sit around with my friends and connect with the individuals homeless because they were down on their luck or, in certain instances, by choice. I heard some fascinating stories and something tells me they had many more. I see a documentary in the future. A film. Something. There is too much potential there to waste.
If people only got to know the homeless or could attempt to empathize with their situation, I'm not sure homeless people would be as frequently viewed as sub-human. I'd like to go back next Sunday and bring some food to donate too. And enjoy the company and the stories.

After I left the park, I still felt as though I hadn't really done enough. I thought about surprising Lauren at work, but she called just as I was heading over there so I told her I would be stopping by. She spoke of a job. Her aunt's store. 10.50 an hour. Part-time. Sounds like what I've been looking for. But, I still fear that the fact my loyalties are completely elsewhere, I'm not sure I would be the best employee. As hard as I would work, my schedule is unpredictable and ever changing.

Anyway, when I was pulling into the fashion show, this homeless man was walking up and down the median holding a sign. He was young and unkempt and when he passed my car I rolled down the window and gave him the two dollars in cash I had and the granola bar I didn't eat for breakfast. Honestly, he was most excited about the granola bar. Every other driver sat coldly ignoring him, skeptical of his intentions. Call me naive, but I'm sure he had quiet the story and if the two measly dollars were used nobly or not, who am I to judge?

Humans long for connection. Someone to listen, reassure and understand. They need to know they are not alone.

flowers

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