Lilac Wine

Today felt like two days, this morning being an entirely separate monday. Cool breeze, clouds and driving with the windows down listening to Radiohead. It was good.
Babysitting was good. Too much tv not enough games though I did manage some Trouble and reminded him how to play checkers. Singing the whole time. Odd. Me singing.
Lunch was fun, though I think the old lady behind me thought they were my kids. How I could look like I was the mother of...well any child let alone a nine year old with blond hair and green eyes is beyond me.
The candy shop made me wish I was smaller. Forgotten sweets and really bright colors in the cutest neighborhood. We walked to the park where the playground looked strange enough to belong on Mars and I fell in love with the model homes across the street. This interestingly designed house in deep blue with deep red shutters and dark red door. It made me wish I had a reason and someone to live there with.
Then after getting home it was as if this morning was in fact yesterday. And I've spent the rest of the time restless and frustrated with a lot of things. Photography, writing, thank you notes, traffic school, love letters.

I've been cooped up too long and my headaches are as persistent as ever.

I hate getting them. I hate complaining about them.

I'm sorry.

I found the E.M. Forster book a couple of moments ago covered in dust.

Opening it, I want to read it again.

Thumbing through, I think about how I wish books were magical.

Sometimes I think books are magical.

Take me away.

Jeff Buckley.
be what i want to be