The Giver

I'm a giver.

And I'm used to it being that way.

But, every once and again, I want something in return.

I give support, love, unconditional trust, a blind eye, second chances, the benefit of the doubt, my shoulder to cry on, my wallet to raid, my ear to be talked off and usually, I'm grateful to help. But, sometimes I need someone to listen to me. I need someone's unconditional love. I'm sick of one ended crushes and unfulfilling friendships. I'm sick of being used.

I listen. That doesn't mean that's all I'm there for. That doesn't mean I never want you to hear me.

And it isn't fair to say that no one appreciates me. Because that would be far from the truth. I'm just too willing with some people. I need to start requesting things in return.

I've been giving my time for what may as well be seven years. And I have so much more passion and devotion then the rest of them. I care about this organization so much. I'm not ashamed to admit it is my life and my passion. It isn't theirs. And I think you've just begun to feel guilty. I just want something to show it. I've worked so hard and gotten so little. I want my work to pay off. It has for the ones who don't deserve it and I want so badly to get the same chances they did. Because, otherwise, it really isn't fair.

It isn't fair of me to even request this. Because, when I think about it, I don't do that much. And yet I still want someone to take care of me. Let me whine to them, cry to them. I want little surprises. I want to be loved with them knowing how I love them in return. Someone to appreciate the work I do and compliment me. To be my companion. Instead of just someone to flirt with in class. Or just a friend to take my money and my time and fill it with stories of their sexual escapades and lies.

Sometimes, I just want to take.

As selfish as that is to the rest of the world where so many have nothing I can't shake the feeling that I need reassurance. Something in return.