Record. Playback.

I have gathered more pieces.

They are in places you wouldn't think to check.
You with your secrecy.
I don't look anymore. The clues find me.

I hold them in my hands and don't know where to put them. What file do they belong in?

Chronological order. I try to remember if we happened first.
No. She did. She always has. I know her name having heard it through others (via different, older clues) but you have never mentioned her. Many other girls you have. But never her.
When you told me what happened that night, remember? I was on your couch and you sat, twirling your hands hiding something. Told me the scary story, skipping that detail about her being there. I would have wanted to know. Someone else who could have gotten hurt. 

That was months before. We were not doing anything. Just friends who shared an occasional meal and the couch. I don't even think you had started kissing me then.
Which makes me wonder about now.
Alone with my clues, I have all of these old testimonies I have still not managed to file.
Unfortunately, most of them are against your character. Tearfully confessed to me in various ways. I never have to ask. 
Is this a game you play?
Did I just took you a little longer to catch?
Maybe I was different to you. Something compelled you to let me linger around. Maybe you did let me in. If anything, you are very good about pretending you care. Even if this is all a lie, I have had a great time with you. And I'm not upset about it.
I just don't want to doubt it anymore-
If this is the truth or not...
I usually know. Even if you think back and shake your head with certainty that I couldn't know, I do suspect. I know when you've lied before.
We both have a knack for observation. I just keep mine quiet. I know when the stories don't match.
And part of me wants to go back to her. I just hope, really hope, that you were not still with her when you were with me.
I know we weren't doing anything with an official seal. But maybe it is naive of me to think you shouldn't be with her too. I can't be the other women again without at least being aware of it.
It's funny how that's the title I'm always awarded. Even though I have never actually been.
I'm not asking you for a change in the state of our relationship. Not asking for a proclamation of monogamy.

Just honesty.

You have so many secrets.
I don't know if I still want to be one of them.